So I just watched Gray Matters. It's a story about a brother and sister played by Heather Graham and Tom Cavanagh, which I find weird since Scrubs was on at the time this movie came out and J.D. played by Zach Braff dated Heather Graham's character in the show, and Tom Cavanagh was Zach Braff's brother. So yeah, that's pretty cool.

Also if you're interested, I really liked Loving Annabelle, even if it was a little creepy/weird. And Finding Kate was equally good/weird/creepy, although I did feel a little bit pretentious after watching it since it's a short.

Sometimes I hate being nocturnal because I hate being awake while the sun is rising. I don't want to have to consciously deal with the fact that night actually ends.

I've had a really shitty past couple of weeks so if we chat, please be nice?

Thanks!

Does anybody else take smoke breaks at specific times in movies because there's that like 5 minutes of the film you don't like?

I was in college, for some reason. I went to classes, and came home to an empty apartment, I was sad. I got stoned a lot, had trouble finding my room sometimes. Then you came to see me, told me you missed me, hugged me, kissed me. It made me so happy to just sit and talk to you and look at you. I knew we were in Seattle, right by the harbor. The waves were really big, but for some reason I jumped in. There were a couple of giant squid in the water, killing people, but I managed to swim around them. Before I knew it I was on a rocky beach with you and we were going to catch a plane. Then I woke up.

I think this dream stands out so much because I remember it so vividly and because I was a part of it. I don't dream about myself much, most of the time I'm an observer with no body or physical form, but this time I had a body, I had my own body. I just wish she would talk to me.............

Ok, so I have this jacket that I've had for about a year now and until recently I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do with it. So I was standing in Local 15's office and an idea popped into my head. The jacket is a half sleeve jacket, made out of black rabbit fur, it's really ripped up, the sleeves weren't supposed to be that short, I think someone else cut them off(I got it second hand), so it's pretty beat up, but it's one of my favorite articles of clothing because I think it's really pretty, and it's super warm. Anywho....the idea I had for it was this: I want to gather a bunch of scraps of rabbit fur of all different colors and make it into a trench coat with long flared sleeves. The reason I'm posting this is because I want it to be a more emotional piece, and I was thinking about how I would do that and I decided that I wanted to gather scraps of rabbit fur from people I knew, or from the various communities that I am a part of, so I'm wondering if any of you have any rabbit fur you don't need/want. The size and shape of the pieces doesn't matter at all, as long as it's rabbit. I think if I can get enough to finish this project it will be a really cool tribute to the various people who have touched and contributed to my life. So yeah, if you've got any rabbit fur laying around it'd be really cool if you could donate it to this project.

Researchers at the Tzu Cui Hospital in Taiwan have recently discovered a way to fertilize a human egg cell using synthetic sperm. As of last night laws requiring the euthanasia of all male children have begun passing in hundreds of countries around the world. This video explains it all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMf40ORFE8

Standing on the balcony she looks out over the small courtyard, the starbucks, the stage and the benches beyond that. Looking almost wistful she takes a drag on her cigarette and holds the smoke in her lungs for a minute. As plumes of gray vapor twist and swirl out of her nose and mouth she takes a step towards the steps. Her step is brisk, determined but not spiteful. Easily slipping through the throngs of people on the sidewalk she makes her way toward the market. Her long gray jacket billows with the wind around her ankles and hugs her body at her hips, clad in muted green and white striped pants. Three streets and as many blocks later she ducks into the pungent smell of fish and flowers, surrounded by noisy bustling people, buying and selling anything from pocket watches to fresh caught fish. Winding through crowds has always come naturally to her, like a river in its snaking canyon. Down stairs and away from the source of the fishy smell she walks out into another stairwell, though this one is exposed to nature. And I have no idea where this is going. Ideas?

Just discovered this, I think it's really pretty.

She got a condition of the heart
A heart condition
So as a kid she had to adapt to smarter living
Not much room to rebel because of health
no drugs, no booze, just kiss and tell
well known on the scene
jailbait queen
had the first baby barely eighteen
father of the child was after one thing
when the daughter came the dad was unseen
it don’t matter he aint got a job
so she had to go to work and leave the baby with her mom
second shift till the neck is stiff
but she worked it and built her own nest to live
soon after that baby’s daddy slash lazy bum
with no cash he want to come over and crash
he want to play his part
so she let him move in to that garden level apartment
she knew better—she did it anyways
explain better when your trying to see some better days
the suns up catch those rays
butterfly style who’s got chase

chorus:
but she still dreams after she woke
tight hold on that hope
sometimes it can seem so cold
do what you got to do to cope

X2

Two years later two months pregnant
Same daddy same broke ass situation
This time the doc said that her heart might break
Praise god that the job got her health benefits straight
she believes in the right to choice
but she loves baby girl and she wants a boy
makes more now a days on the day shift
balance that with night class
take some time and space and make it all fit
the apartment they now live in is overcrowded
raised her voice and made her point
told that boy go get employed
he put on his best shirt
said he wasn’t coming back till he gets work
she knew what that part meant
so she swept every piece out that apartment
peace out keep out
take the scenic route
rather only have to feed three mouths
she adapts to everything know
and nobody asks what she dreams out

Chorus X 2

Little girl was the first reason to breathe
And the little man was the first man she believed in
She gotta live right and do right by self
She do for self she don’t want your help
Afraid of being alone
But fear aint enough to knock her off of that stone
Gonna make that home her home
with or without a man that she can call her own
big boss at work is anxious
continues to hand her the wrong advances
she passes the test
she knew the answers
quit the job to go take a chance
with life
this is life we all scream
while we pray for dollars and we work for change
its all the same, we all struggle
sometimes you gotta say fuck you
when you smile and she doesn’t return it
give her room and don’t disturb it
if it makes it hurt less to curse and fight
go ahead and hate the world girl you’ve earned the right

chorus X3

My roommate and hairstylist, Chivahn, is looking for new clients. She's super awesome and has really good rates.

Check her out so we can pay rent!



http://myspace.com/hairbychivahn
http://fuchsiaphoenix.com

I want to tell you to meet me at Seven. Tell you I can't wait to see you. I want to light a match and watch you smile as you step across the flames in the threshold. I want you slowly close your eyes as you lean in to kiss me. I want to hold your head in my hands and watch the flickering glow of the flames crawling up the walls back light your hair and put that glow in your eyes that means you want to be here with me as much as I want to be here with you. I want you to hold me as beams from the ceiling come crashing down around us, shooting fire and sparks everywhere, making our hearts race. I want our lips and tongues to gently slow and become more sensual as the fire inches it's way up our ankles. I want you to press your hips into mine and your hands against the small of my back, making it so that the entire front of my body touches yours. I want to feel the fire moving up onto my shoulders when you press our foreheads together to look deep into my eyes. I want to feel your lips move against mine until the skin on our faces melts and drops to the ground, then grab onto your hands until I feel myself drifting upward. I want to look over at you, flickering white and surrounded by light, and smile at you, because I know you'll never look back, and you know I won't either. This is our first date, and I already know I love you.

Check out FuchsiaPhoenix.com



My roommate/stylist Chivahn just moved to a new salon and is looking to take on new clients! So check out her Myspace or FuchsiaPhoenix.com.

Do you ever sit up at night and wonder what will be the battle of the next generation? What your home will be a haven against for your children? What you will have to accept for your children's sake? What will make your children the outcast, why you'll have to put them back together, or make their friends smile someday? Someday I want to build a home that will give the next generation a place to go where they feel comfortable, but I'm afraid of what I will have to do to make that happen.

..............in nothing..................anymore...........

In the new year I want to be more. I want to have high standards and higher goals, I want to be completely unknowable, unattainable, mysterious. I want change myself so that no matter how much people spend time with me I'll never run out of surprises. I want to be unpredictable, one of a kind. I want to be a wild wild horse.

A flash. Flint against steel like like that perfect moment when our eyes meet across the room. The tip of my cigarette glows red, cool and serene. Back up against the wall looking at the discarded paper cups and newspapers. The rain can never penetrate my fur as I walk down the hill. Down toward the sky line where memories were made, then forgotten and re-made. We can never know where this is going, or where it will end, but sometimes the present is enough. As more people filter out of the club more flashes and more glowing embers surround me. I look up at the sky and wonder if I'll ever know what's out there. Wonder weather there's a difference between fact and fiction. Wonder if it matters. All the stray cats and sodden paper cups of Seattle's streets wonder with me as if we were all one mind. One being. A year ago I watch a group of kids face each other in lines, guns drawn, and wondered if they thought about the things I did. Now, surrounded by smoke and soiled concrete I just hope I can find my way in the world, hope those kids can too. Sometimes I want to change my name to Wraith, wrap myself in the darkest fabric I can find and walk the streets and alley of New York City every night just to see what I can find. Sometimes I want to change my name to Aztra, build a house in a tree in the mountains and hide from humanity for the rest of my life. Sometimes I want to leave everything I am behind and start over. I have learned that no matter where you go there are always problems and the scum that call themselves people, but if you look hard enough, there is always peace. Watching a time-lapse of a parking lot filling at 5 am is both distressing and unexplainably peaceful.

I need to be`completely destroyed.

I just want to feel shiny and new.

The all new MEMORIE NEEDS TO PAY HER MOTHERFUCKING PHONE BILL SEWING SALE! begins now. The first person to get $30 into my hands, that will be the entire cost for the labor on a sewing project. This excludes charges for shipping and handling and materials. This is a one time offer, first come first served.

Please pass this on.

Thanks!

~Memorie